You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
