I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
