he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
