Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
