I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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