you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
