you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I will be naked everywhere
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
