Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
