so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
