i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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