I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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