Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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