i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
