is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
