it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize