3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
