Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
