It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
