Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I see more hoeing in ur future
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize