um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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