we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
