You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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