what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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