there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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