Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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