No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
