My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
that is very illegal...i love you.
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