No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
