It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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