We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize