Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
