ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
