that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
