i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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