Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
