Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
