4 words: hood of his car
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Two words: blizzard sex
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
