i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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