i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
