there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
