The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
