My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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