i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
