I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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