I'm sorry my penis didn't work
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
