Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
