This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
