Already got asked if we're dating
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
