Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
