I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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