Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
