I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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