I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
