omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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