I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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