Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
