I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
