You really coming over, don't trick.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
