we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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