Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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