I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
