you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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