I want to stick my p in your. b.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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