they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
