The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
