I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
