dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize